algorhythmn:

I took the final, and I have done it very, very well. I am soo happy, and I am not only because the exam went pretty well but because how I felt during said exam.

It is just that I have been working on not feeling insecure in exams, and feel pretty confident instead. I mean, when I saw what I had to do (in Haskell and then in Java), I couldn’t be able to hide my joy: the exam was the same I did a few days ago, and one of the functions was the one I thought last night (see my last post). But them I saw the structures were so different and when I read what I had to do, I realized that the exam wasn’t the same, just kind of similar.

So I had 3 hours to figure everything out, and then code in Haskell and Java. Programming in Haskell  is one of my stregth, so that is what I did first. I was almost done with that part and there were 2 hours left. But when I saw the Java code… it was totally different from what we did in class. We needed to code the structures, whereas in class, professors gave us the structures. At that point I was almost sure I was going to fail, retake the class, and for a few minutes, I saw myself in some situations: telling to my parents I didn’t do very well, to my friends, to my professor, to myself, taking the class again. At this stage I always feel everything is fucked and I can’t do anything. But I calmed myself down, and I remembered that I can do that, I am pretty versed in data structures, I have coded lots of them. And I pushed my brain to work harder and dismiss my lack of confidence. One hour and a half later, I had the exam almost done and still half an hour to revise what I did and try to code two functions.

So what I have been working on during summer is going pretty well. I am changing, step by step, my mind. It doesn’t mean that from now I am not going to feel insecure about an exam anymore. I am, but hopefully less and less. Until these thoughts disappear.

So, as you see, this exam boosted my confidence. I can do whatever. And that is what I feel so happy today.

L